Law Revue

Last week I attended the University of Adelaide's "Law Revue." A law revue (not to be confused with law review) is generally singing, dancing, and general hilarity for law students by law students (this means a lot of jokes that other people don't find funny). Anyway, the evening was generally quite fun with a bunch of skits and songs that made fun of professors, politicians, sports celebrities, and even historic court decisions. Despite having only one of the professors and not having to have read the cases, I must say I was amused and impressed. Conveniently, many law jokes seem to translate across jurisdictional lines (ba dum bum tchhhh). Anyway, I thought I would share the skit most relevant to the U.S. with you all. Attached is a short video and then the lyrics to Guantanamo, which was done to the music of "Kokomo" by the Beach Boys. It should be noted that the lyrics used in no way reflect the views of this commentator or the Beach Boys. In fact, I don't even understand what a few of the lyrics mean. Also, Australians don't tend to be quite as politically correct, so proceed knowing that I will be sharing the unedited version with you.

Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take you

Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama

Quay Largo, Montego, baby why don’t we go [Record screech defining new song]

Yes, it’s a…

Stroke of genius:

That Camp Guantanamo

It lets us flout our law

Because it’s based off-shore.

Dressed in orange suits

Your hands’ll be chained to your boots

We think it’s just desserts

Coz we suspect that you were in cahoots

With nasty terrorists…

Iranis, Afghanis, and Uzbekistanis

There’s Al-Qaida insiders, even Tamil Tigers

There are Pakis, Iraqis, a few token darkies

In Guantanamo

We lock ’em up

And say it’s quid pro quo

We’ll never let ’em go

Out of Guantanamo.

Like Abu Ghraib, but this one’s custom made.

When Inspector Blix

Went to Iraq all he found was nix

We oughta lock up a cock-up

Like him with Aussie David Hicks.

Infidel Castro

Is no longer our main foe

And Gaddafi broke his vow

After old Arafat threw in the towel.

Now we want others like…

Moqtada Al-Sa’adr and all his Muslim martyrs,

A million dollars to collar the current Ayatollah,

Put a dint in Campaign Clinton, give Hillary a stint

Inside Guantanamo

We lock ’em up

And say it’s quid pro quo

We’ll never let ’em go

Out of Guantanamo.

You won’t get home so enjoy some saxophone.

[sax solo]

We’re the neo-cons

And we supply the world’s weapons

So in election years

We can exploit your fears.

That’s the reason why…

We’re rooting for Putin and his Chechan looting,

Drink a stubbie at the barbie we’ll throw for Mugabe,

This song’ll make Kim Jong Il wish he had a dung hill

Like Guantanamo

We lock ’em up

And say it’s quid pro quo

We’ll never let ’em go

Out of Guantanamo.